Monday, March 22, 2010

Focus Therapy

"Kalina... Log off the computer... it's time for dinner." I called out from the kitchen one day.
"One minute. I just.... got.... to ....." Nina, was drawn back into the games of Webkinz World and couldn't even focus on finishing her sentence.
"Log off, nina."
"Yup." she continued to play.
"NOW!" I raise my voice. I felt my blood pressure going up.
"Coming... just one more...." 
"Do you need a FOCUS THERAPY session?" I walk over with a scowl. She loged off immediately.
"Done." she called out and ran past me, and sat down at the dinner table as if nothing happened.
Focus Therapy is a phrase coined first by the Pack Leader of this family. 
"We don't spank.... we use Focus Therapy." Rene smiled as we sped along highway 1 towards New Westminster. We were enjoying a lively discussion on the benefits and draw backs of flogging. 
"To hit your child out of anger, to satisfy your own selfish need to dominate, is not what I agree with." Rene continued, " We don't tan our children's hides, but a smack to teach consequence is something else."
 There were times, once or twice in their 10 and 11 years, as our girls proceeded to touch a hot stove or poke something into the electric socket that we needed to smack their little fingers to prevent a health and safety complication and to live a little longer, our offspring urged us to cuff them. To comply with the latest trend of being politically correct we termed the phrase, 'Focus Therapy'.
I received an e-mail today and I was reminded at how easily we, as adults, lose our focus... It's not only the kids.... Read below:

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - 
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. 

This is how it manifests: 

I decide to water my garden. 
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, 
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. 

As I start toward the garage, 
I notice mail on the outdoor table that 
I brought up from the mail box earlier. 

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. 

I lay my car keys on the table, 
Put the junk mail in the bin which is on the back patio, 
And notice that the bin is full. 

So, I decide to put the bills back 
On the table and take out the rubbish first. 

But then I think, 
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox 
When I take out the rubbish anyway, 
I may as well pay the bills first. 

I take my cheque book off the table, 
And see that there is only one cheque left. 

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, 
So I go inside the house to my desk where 
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. 

I'm going to look for my cheques, 
But first I need to push the Coke aside 
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.. 

The Coke is getting warm, 
And I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold. 

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, 
A vase of flowers on the counter 
Catches my eye--they need water. 

I put the Coke on the counter and 
Discover my reading glasses that 
I've been searching for all morning. 

I decide I better put them back on my desk, 
But first I'm going to water the flowers. 

I set the glasses back down on the counter, 
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. 
Someone left it on the kitchen table. 

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, 
I'll be looking for the remote, 
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, 
So I decide to put it back in the Family room where it belongs, 
But first I'll water the flowers. 

I pour some water in the flowers, 
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor. 

So, I set the remote back on the table, 
Get some towels and wipe up the spill. 

Then, I head down the hall trying to 
Remember what I was planning to do. 

At the end of the day: 
The car isn't washed 
The bills aren't paid 
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter 
The flowers don't have enough water, 
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book, 
I can't find the remote, 
I can't find my glasses, 
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. 
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, 
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all darn day, 
And I'm really tired. 

I realize this is a serious problem, 
And I'll try to get some help for it, 
But first I'll check my e-mail.... 

Is this you? It is definitely me......  
I have worked in the travel industry for 19 years... and for those 19 years, I had a supervisor. I had a list of things I needed to do... each day there would be different things on that list that I needed to accomplish before 5pm... I had a time frame and schedule in which to accomplish these tasks. I knew what I needed to do, I did it well, and I finished on time.
I have been laid off since last June and lately the email above describes my day to a T. I start off with good intentions to write.... I do believe this is what God wants me to do... But then, I get a little lost in the day to day of life...... Wake up, Feed the kids, drive them to school, walk the dog, load of laundry, sweep the floors, clean the breakfast dishes, unload the dishwasher, have coffee with my neighbour Martha, wash the floors, weed the garden, clean the bathrooms, bring the overdue library books back, walk the dog again, pick up kids,  fold the laundry, Piano lessons, Rock Wall, Riding lessons, Swimming lessons, have a coffee with husband, make dinner..... did I have lunch?.... clean up dinner dishes, put kids to bed, let dog out one last time, write? 
 Are you kidding! When do I have time to write? 2am that's when...... I need some Focus Therapy. Then, I second guess myself and my purpose, my assignment.... am I supposed to write?.... maybe I heard wrong.... maybe God doesn't want me to write?..... maybe that's not my talent/gift?.....maybe he wants me to do something else?.... I question His will for me... never mind that He's been quite clear in the past.... but..... He's not clear now....  
 Being a House Wife/Writer/Sanitation Worker/Zoo Keeper/Teacher/Chef/Mediator/ Accountant/Gardener/Taxi Driver.... (I'll stop here... the list is really long)... It's hard work.... I need organization... I need lists.....I need a supervisor..... So.....  I called up my old supervisor at Transat Holidays and ask her to move in with me. She's moving in,..... in May. 

Another area in which I lose a lot of focus in, is doing things I don't like to do. Like taxes, for instance or the bathrooms. Somewhere, in the back of my grey matter... I know taxes need to get done.... and that it won't go away if I ignore it. Bathrooms don't go away either... they get stinky and demand that I do something about it. 
Life is a formula you can follow x(love God)+y(love each other) = z(Peace and harmony).  We don't live in Utopia just yet and the world's formula looks more like x(God's love) + y(love each other) + {b(taxes)- a(job loss)} + {L(bills) x t(lawsuit)} + {h(children crying) - p(cat puking hair balls)} + r(lack of passion for job) + f(Be content in all things) - {s(argument  with spouse) x q(car broke down) - e(dog ate the remote) + g(addictions) - d(grace) divide by 365(days of the year) = Z(???? I'm not sure you lost me with the cat puke).
 So, once again Focus Therapy needs to be applied to do the things we need to do, so we can move on and get to the things God wants us to do, so we can live in our sweet spot and gain a small glimpse into paradise. It's challenging to hold on to those dreams in life, and it's important to focus on your vision and hold on. 
 My life's boulevard is steeped in fog most days, and my dream doesn't always go the way I had pictured it (by now, I should have had an offer on my children's story 'Opa's Garden' and my screenplay 'Celia' was supposed to be in production), instead I'm blogging. Many times my feelings tell me to quit writing, that's when I hold on to God's will and vision for my life and I write a blog and keep going. 

"Kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you." 2 Timothy 1:6

If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.
Jack Dixon

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