Monday, November 15, 2010
When Sparks Fly
Solomon did 2 things for the woman he loved. He brought her into a banquet hall, gave her an amazing feast and he put a banner of love over her as protection. He physically and emotionally provided for her. This is the way God loves us and I began to question if I showed this kind of love to the people I love...especially my spouse.
" You are like a garden fountain - a well of fresh water flowing down from the mountains of Lebanon." Song of Songs 4:15
Am I a well of fresh water for my spouse? Are You? Do you mostly whine and complain at them or do you give them the silent treatment and turn away when they do something you don't like? Do you grunt one syllable answers to their questions because your too irritated to talk? I don't always feel like I can be a well of fresh water for my spouse, and he is not always there to be that well for me, that's why I need help. I go to the one who can provide it.
"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give will never be thirsty. The water I give will become a spring of water gushing up inside that person, giving eternal life." John 4 13-14
I always thought the Old Testament book Song of Songs was a bit weird. I never really understood why it's in the Bible. Recently, I have been pushed into reading it for my class. It's a part of my homework reading and I see it in a new light these days. Not only does it show the passion God has for his creation, but also the passion a Man and Wife must have for each other.
"How is your lover better than other lovers?" Song of Songs 5:9
What makes you different from all the other spouse's around? When you're having coffee with your friends what do you say about your spouse.
"Wellllllll, You won't believe what my spouse did this week...." Do you insert something positive or negative here? Do you gripe and complain or share the wonderful things they've done?
I know I do stupid things to irritate my husband each week. I'm human. It's a fact that he has done things, that have disappointed me. We are human, we make mistakes.
It is our reactions that make us better than other lovers. We all handle disappointments differently. Do you scream and yell speaking unkindly to your spouse and bringing him/her to a all time low? Do you gossip about the irritation to your neighbours and friends making your spouse look like the most horrible partner a person can have whom your neighbour's and friends now disrespect? Do you keep it all to yourself and build a wall around your heart, removing yourself emotionally from your spouse?
What would happen if you love, accepted and forgave your spouse? Don't pretend the incident didn't happen. Talk to your spouse, tell them the irritation and why it bothered you. Love them anyways and move on.
My husband did that recently a few weeks ago. I'm a little conservative and I don't do a lot of things because I hang on to fear. I know this about myself and I am working on it with God's help, step by step. Rene wants me to be more outgoing, to take the initiative and get out there..."Get dirty and make mistakes." as Miss Frizzle says on the Magic School bus.
"You want me to what?" It was our 20th wedding anniversary recently and we went camping. Just the 2 of us, up a logging road, in the middle of nowhere. Mountains , streams and waterfalls surrounding us, it was the proverbial Garden of Eden and my husband was Adam and he wanted me to play Eve (before she ate the fruit).
"There's no body here." He reported and waved his arms about in melodramatic fashion. I laughed, thinking about that imaginary hiker on top of that nearest mountain who was sitting there eating a granola bar with a set of high powered binoculars that happened to be aimed right at our camp site.
"Oh, Lord...help me be brave. I'm tired of letting my fear always get in the way. My husband needs a bold wife right now. Help me." I thought, as I pushed thoughts of the google earth satellite that would be aimed right at the precise coordinates of this particular camp spot in the middle of no where. It took a moment of coaxing and inner dialogue, but I finally did release the fears of 'Big Brother is Watching' and became the Eve to my Adam (before the fruit).
"You could relax a little?" Adam was chopping firewood and laughing at His Eve who sat in the camp chair, arms and legs crossed 2 feet from the fire.
"I'm cold." Although no one knows exactly where the Garden of Eden was, I was pretty sure it was closer to the equator than I was presently.
"Would you like a blanket?" Adam was so thoughtful, "I'll put some more wood on the fire." How gentlemanly, I thought, and became more relaxed. I leaned over to slice some brie to go with our baguette and that's when the sparks started to fly....
...These were not romantic sparks as some of you may be thinking...remember Adam was adding wet wood to the fire and Eve was sitting 2 feet away....
Ladies, I just want to say, that things don't always go as planned. Stepping out of your comfort zone is what God wants us to do, sometimes we are going to get burned and we will need the first aid kit, but God always makes good. He has our back.
Eve stepped out of her fear box a little, she was scorched, but her relationship with Adam got a little closer that weekend because she stepped out.
Ask your husband what you could do to make your relationship a little closer....This week, try to step out of your comfort zone and enjoy time with your Adam.
Well, I'm off to buy some Aloe Vera Cream...Have a great week!